With intermittent walk and repose the journey continued from forests to forests. They reached Kamyaka Forest, and walked looking for a place of rest at night. After the long walk the feet broke in sores. When the sandals got pinched they were thrown away. Here also Bhima came to her help. He got an arrow from Arjuna and made sandals with a wooden plank. She did not find any difficulty as the plank was thin. At times, when Draupadi became fatigued, Bhima took her on his shoulders. There was only one person with a good conscience among the Pandavas, Draupadi’s opinion got confirmed, it was Bhima.
One day when she was sitting on his shoulder she whispered into his ears.
“Do you remember Balamdhara now?”
Bhima just turned and cast a glance. Later, while she was relaxing and the other Pandavas were enjoying the sights of the forest, Bhima came near Draupadi.
“ I don’t have Balamdhara now in front of me. I have only Panchali before me. Panchali , you were humiliated because of my elder brother, the Pandavas and their brothers Kauravas. Panchali, I have accepted this humiliation as my own responsibility, and I go carrying the blazing flame in my mind. So no Balamdhara, not even any beautiful goddess can take your place. Balamdhara, who cares! I did not oppose the elder brother’s order. That’s all. I just thought of not incurring the Acharya’s curse by disobeying my elder brother. Now I feel that I ought to have defied him. I ought to have told him that the Pandavas should not marry other women.”
She could understand that the Pandavas, except Dharmaputra were feeling regret over Panchali’s humiliation.
One night, when the forest was clad in the white silk robe of the moon, Draupadi happened to hear about the complaints of the dissatisfied Pandavas. Bhima , Nakula and Sahadeva were repeatedly saying that they should retaliate for the humiliation they incurred, and their country should be retrieved. But without responding to them, Dharmaputra was enjoying his play with two dry twigs like the dice. Draupadi got angry. He is not Dharmaputra. He is the son of gambling. Seeing Yudhishthira’s silence and indifference the wrathful Panchali made a remark.
“ Don’t you see the great heroic archer Arjuna, Noble man? Look at the all-powerful club-bearer Vrukodhara. Don’t you see the handsome and plumb Nakula and Sahadeva? Don’t you feel angry on seeing me the daughter of the Panchala King and sister of Dryshtadyumnan, suffering from the bites of the leeches and insects in the forest? There is a saying that there is no Kshathriya without anger. You are an exception. All creatures will deride the Kshatriya who never breaks into anger when it is needed. Those who are of intense passion will punish the enemies. The King should behave according to situations when the need emerges.”
Yudhishthira was looking quietly with gentleness at Draupadi’s fury. Then he said slowly. “Anger is destruction, Panchali. When the powerless fool shows fury at the powerful who torments him, he will cause death. The powerless should always subside his anger. Patience is of utmost importance. We can attain anything only with
patience.”
Patience! Dharma! Righteousness! Draupadi made a suppressed laugh in contempt.
“ Oh, King! Are you really a Kshathriya? I bow before Brahma who gave you life. Righteousness did not save you. You did not even save your wife. When your wife was disrobed and dragged in front of the crowd, Dharma was more important to you! What in the name of Dharma that the one who did not know how to play the game of dice, pawned the whole country? In the name of Dharma, you gave the country and all its prosperity to the cruel and unrighteous Duryodhana and came to the forest and now you live the life of an animal, and you flaunt your Dharma! If you had been righteous, you could have brought the wives of Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva also. Arjuna would not have worried over Subhadra. You would not have dreamed of Devaki.”
Dharmaputra felt himself to be a puny figure before Draupadi.
“Panchali, you are our righteous wife. That was why we brought you with us.”
“Hum. The righteous wife can have the forest life. She can have a hard life! The other wives are supposed to enjoy the comforts of the palace. King! You ought not have degraded yourself like this. As I am the wife of all the five, I can be disrobed. I can be humiliated. I can walk barefoot in the thick forest. I can walk on the stony and thorny path. I can spread the leaves in the midst of the forest and lie down.”
“Don’t Draupadi. Don’t question my weakness.”
“One mistake can happen to anyone. Only if we engage with manliness we will be able to avoid the dangers which happen in our life. Enemies will go on doing evil. Don’t disgrace yourself. Don’t deride yourself. A person who says ‘I am not capable of doing anything’ and feel contempt on himself will never be prosperous.”
Bhima looked at his elder brother and said angrily.
“ Why do you talk too much, Panchali? There is nobody to defeat Arjuna in war. Who is there to beat me in club-fight? If we want and venture we can easily get back whatever is lost. When the King earns the land we need to donate it to the Brahmins to redeem ourselves from our sin.”
Very sorrowfully, but in absolute calmness, Yudhishthira looked at Bhima.
“Your words pierce me hard, Vrukodhara. I engaged myself in the game of dice to get back all our country from Duryodhana. He deceived me in foul play. But, somehow I couldn’t withdraw.”
Those words did not cause any sympathy in Bhima. He replied.
“Elder brother, The sorrow springing from disgust will be more intense than fire. I burn in the most intense fire. More than that the one who has burned to ashes is our righteous wife. Our Panchali. She could also escape from this fire as the other wives. But that heroic woman decided to stay with her husbands. Considering her at least, you Elder brother, try to avenge for this intense sorrow.”
Yudhishthira sighed and said.
“ What you said is right. But you are being thoughtless, Vrukodara. Duryaodhana has his one hundred brothers. His relative Jayadratha and his country. Great grandfather Bhishma. The preceptor Dronar, Aswathamav. Moreover the great Anga-King Karna. He has his inviolable armour. He is an angry and all- knowing archer and invincible. How can we win over such brave men? We are only five, you should remember that.”
Draupadi who was hot in fury subsided a little on hearing Karna’s name. She withdrew. She got into the small bower and sat on the bed made of creepers and vines. Karna’s immaculate smiling face beams in her mind. As if he was rubbing her feet slowly. ‘You have walked too far in the forest. Does it pain, my beloved?’ In the comfortable coolness of that touch, she closed her eyes half and said.
‘No, it is not paining me.’ She opened her eyes when the fragrance of a kiss spread on her feet. Anga- King Karna was peering in to her! Am I seeing a dream, or is it an illusion?”
“When did you come here?” She jumped up in anxiety.
Karna was standing before smiling. When she looked closely, she realized. It was not Karna. It was Arjuna!
Bashfully, she lowered her face.
(Cont’d)
