Draupadi was reflective. She had desired to spill the blood of the heart of Dusshasana and Duryodhana. When the spirit of vengeance boiled up in her she used to squeeze both her hands together and feel happy in its pain. She was an ordinary woman with many desires. She never dreamed of the position of a Queen-Regent. She was only a slave who walked with the traders at the end of all bargaining. An unfortunate woman who goes behind the trader who goes away from his responsibilities. Later she came to know the truth that she should not desire for anything. Those who swam in the flow of the couplets which were sung by greedy minstrels. Their refuge is in the depths of the ocean they could never be able to swim
across. Once she asked.
“ Eh…! Pandavas, Don’t you feel disappointed? When you look back, don’t you feel sad? When your desires are not fulfilled, don’t you feel resentment?”
It was Bhima who gave the reply.
“ We were born in the lap of the forest. Palaces, fortresses, and bastions were strange to us. We did not serve the kings. We served the hermits in the forest. They did not know deceit and treachery. What they taught was also this. Therefore, we had no idea about the deception of the people of the land. The animals in the forest kill and eat their prey only when they feel hungry. The people of the land are not like that. They kill the people of their own caste. They destroy their own clan. Panchali. Who is the animal here? With the death of our Father, we thought that our stay in the forest would be dangerous and so, when we returned to our Father’s country, what we saw raw around was deception, treachery, violence, and corruption. People who mutually fight. Prepared to do anything for getting the country. We realized that it was not in the forest alone we saw wild animals. How far better is the forest than the land where man eaters live! Which is more fearful, the land where for one’s own prestige one betrays one’s intimate friend or the forest? Here we are ruled by disappointment and sorrow because of the men who boast that they are perfect.”
It is desirable to withdraw oneself. What law is this to allot five husbands? She wanted to ask them. But she did not. The murder of Jayadratha and Drona happened. When Dronacharya put down his bow on hearing the death of his son, an arrow darted fast and, nobody identified its sender. Arjuna himself had done it. He also danced having chopped away the dead man’s head. Who would mind it in the mad hurry of saving oneself! When everything is over, there would be many who testify, ‘I saw it.’ What the messenger from Hastinapuri said was that all the public cursed Duryodhana. But would not the unfortunate bereaved, whose dear ones met with miserable death at the hands of the Pandavas, be cursing them too? The consequences of that curse will be borne by both. In the midst of the war Yudhishthira and Karna clashed with each other. Though Karna could kill Yudhishthira, he did not do anything to him. Though Nakula and Sahadeva came to help Yudhishthira, his horse, helmet and chariot were lost. Finally, Yudhishthira wearily got into Sahadeva’s chariot and escaped. When he was lying with wounded body and mind, Panchali went to him and applied oil. He was restless. It seemed he did not like her to touch his body. When she looked at him questioningly, he said. “Panchali, he, that Karna, the son of the charioteer, the wicked one who was abandoned by his parents as soon as he was born, attacked me. While I returned to save my life he came after me and rebuked me. He destroyed my chariot and horse. I have sent Sahadeva to tell Arjuna to come back only after killing him. Only after knowing it I would be contented.” The eldest brother’s defeat was his brothers’ also. Specially for Arjuna. The disaster which came as the consequence of a mania for gambling! It was fifteen days since the war started. Victory and failure are not counted on either side. Panchali thought of her father, who met with a heroic death. Before he left for the battlefield, he said.
“Daughter, It is not because of submissiveness or sincerity to the Pandavas, …I can’t bear my daughter, Princess Draupadi living without any house or land. Only death will happen through the war. But let it be a penance for the crime I committed.”
On hearing Father’s words, Draupadi wept. “I’ve never blamed you, Father. This is my fate.”
He slowly drew her close to his side. The warm and holy touch of love filled her soul in heavenly bliss.
He kissed her on the forehead and said.
“Daughter, If we had not conducted a contest, you could have accepted a man of your preference as your husband. That contest had landed you in the forest. This misfortune happened to me also. Forgive me, Daughter.”
Draupadi embraced his holy feet and shed her tears
“Don’t say like that. Father , you will make a triumphant return to the city. You will win after killing all the enemies.”
He lifted Daupadi to her feet.
“I see Karna’s valour power and tenacity of purpose in war, Daughter. Very often when I see Karna on the opposite side, I would think it was Arjuna. It has puzzled me.”
“Father, I’ll tell the secret only to you. I had given word to Krishna. Still I would tell you. Karna is not the son of a charioteer. He is one among the Pandavas.”
“Oh! My daughter, how unlucky you have become! In that Swayamvara dais you were supposed to be Karna’s. But because of my haughtiness in his being the son of a charioteer, you lost him….Forgive your father, daughter.”
With her tear-flooded eyes, Draupadi looked at her father who was staggering in the burden of his sorrow.
Fate is nobody’s toy. On the contrary, man is Fate’s toy.
(Cont’d)
