Charity is of three types: virtuous, royal and dark.
Charity is dedication at the right time at the deserving time when it is needed and submission without the intention of getting any reward. It is virtuous. Gifting with the expectation of a return and without complete willingness, is the royal one. We cannot consider it as the holy deed of gifting. Dark kind of gifting is done either because of the instigation of another person or in contempt. It is not a holy deed at all.”
Draupadi, standing before Mother and Father, spoke in a heavy voice.
“Among these, which is my kind of charity or gift?” Drupada King was surprised.
“ Father, You gifted me at the time when the Pandu sons requested for it. Is it fair to take it back? Father please return to our country without any trial of strength. Panchali is happy and comfortable here.”
The reply came from Mother.
“Daughter, You are not the one who is humiliated at Hastinapuri. The whole country of Panchala is. You are not a common woman. You were a princess. Then you became the Great Queen. Your father and brother are not fools to remain cross-handed, if we know that you are humiliated.”
Drushtadyumnan growled like a bull.
“Draupadi, you said a little while ago about charity. We of Panchala went wrong there. We should have donated something only to the deserving ones.”
“It’s nobody’s fault. Those who are proficient in the martial arts may too be wounded. If the opponent has mastered in the tactics of weaponry and as crooked as Shakuni, we may lose our life itself.
Why should we take account of our failures?”
Her parents went back on condition that her children would be taken to Panchala. Before leaving, Sister Shikhandi took Draupadi to some distance away and asked.
“ Do you still love Anga-King…Shall I try, Draupadi?” Draupadi’s eyes were flooded.
“It’s too late, Sister…Now I love Govinda. When I think of Govinda, I’ll be relieved of my tensions. Sister, you can go. Govinda came to help me when I needed it very much. It was Govinda who gifted me with the cloth when I was to be stripped of.”
The Chariots went back. But for days the chariots of her parents resounded in her heart like the beating of the drums.
Thoughts of loneliness were getting strengthened in Draupadi’s heart. At such times, she longed to hear the note of the flute which could erase the poisonous thoughts in the innermost recesses of her her heart. Here, in this wilderness, you blue-black Govinda, I’m waiting for you. I see only your peacock feathers in the emerald-like meadow spreading there. When I remember you, the thorny flowers of loneliness will give me pain mixed with comfort. Krishna, it is not the brave heroic Arjuna who saved me. Not Bhima who has expertise with the club. Neither, Dharmaputra who was crazy about the game of dice; nor Nakula-Sahadeva who stand submissive to the elder brothers. It is you. You alone. Karna wanted to give me clothes. It was Karna’s generosity. But you were the one who gave me the cloth. I know Govinda, that day you took some steps favourable for the Pandavas, it was for you also, wasn’t it?
Behind her, does the mellifluous note flow from the flute…? “Panchali, what all things have you thought about me…?” When Krishna came in front of her with a mysterious smile,
Draupadi wavered at first. The moment I thought of him, he appeared all on a sudden, before me!
At the next moment, she regained her courage and said. “Wasn’t it true, Govinda…I would have married only Karna
at the Swayamvara dais. But with your magic you conquered the audien at? Otherwise I would have become the wife of a single man.”
Krishna cast a slanting glance and laughed. He tapped rhythmically with the flute and said.
“If I had let you go to Karna, who would call me Krishna…Krishna…? Now, don’t you love me more than the Pandavas?”
Draupadi wanted to respond, but she didn’t do it. From that day in the Royal Court, Krishna is everything to Draupadi.
Krishna looked at Panchali mischievously and said.
“Earlier than me, another person had stretched the dress to you….!”
“Oh, my blue-black Krishna. This is Draupadi. Drupada Princess’ first desire was for Karna. Don’t you know that? In my adolescent dreams it was Karna who filled my heart. After the Pandavas were said to be burned to death in the house of lac, I had not heard about them. Who would desire for Arjuna who was supposed to be dead? Moreover, which woman would desire for Arjuna when he made her father captive for the sake of Dronacharya? In truth, the Pandavas were our enemies. But I had seen Karna. In my heart I desired for and loved Karna. I will tell you one thing openly. I had no desire for you, Govinda. I had not loved you. I saw you with piety; I thought of you with piety. But, now Krishna, I love you.” The blue-black Krishna had no change in the facial expression. But he frowned and showed surprise. The smile was not fading at all. Ripples of mischief rolled in his eyes.
“Panchali, Even now there are many slandering stories against me. In women, a vital nerve starts from the left side of the spinal chord and in men from the right side of the spinal chord. Just as a creeper gets onto the tree, the vital nerves are twisted in a woman. There lies the difference between a woman and a man.”
As she was standing unable to absorb his interpretation, Krishna continued.
“ The whole universe appears before a Yogi whose mind is focused on the Jeevatma which moves in the vital nerve. That’s me, Krishna”
Saying that much, Krishna walked away playing on the flute and allowing the beautiful musical notes to flow smoothly and incessantly. Draupadi sat slowly on the floor. As she was kissing his foot prints, her eyes overflowed. An emotion was mounting up in her heart, and she did not know whether it was of love, piety or any other feeling.
(Cont’d)
