Drupadi looked intently at Arjuna’s face. He has thinned down quite a lot. The complexion of the body has faded
as though he had lost his earlier handsomeness. His eyes
where, disappointment has formed a nest, do not have the old sparkle. He has broken down in the heaviness of the curse. He has incurred a woman’s curse. Woman’s curse is the direst of all curses. A curse which does not have any atonement. He must undergo the miseries of the curse. As time goes by, it may change its severe nature. Arjuna pressed his hands on both of Draupadi’s shoulders.
“Panchali…Have you been carrying all these sorrows in your heart all this while? True. If we were planning to marry other women, why did we divide you among the five of us? It was done in Dharmabrother’s interest. Later he compelled me to marry Subhadra. After that he married Devaki Devi also. I wanted to question him. But submissiveness did not allow me to do it. Nobody’s wife came for the forest life. Arjuna has never rejected Draupadi. Don’t say that I haven’t loved you. I tried to see you from a hide. I have often thought that it was proper to poison and kill the one who trusted me alone and got into this marriage. Each night I was haunted by nightmares. You insulted me saying that I have wives all through the country? I saw Draupadi in all of them. Not a single one had a different face. Even in Subhadra I found you.”
Draupadi could only weep. “Then…then why did you ignore me?”
“My spite…my vindictiveness towards Dharmabrother…for snatching off my wife, the beautiful Draupadi. Each time Elder brother found means to avoid me. He asked me to come to your inner chamber to take the quiver and bow. When I came there I saw Elder brother indulging in pleasant talk with his wife Draupadi. Elder brother himself sent me to lead an ascetic life according to the condition. When I came to know of the truth my heart burned like glowing husk.”
Draupadi stood close to Arjuna. He pressed Draupadi to his chest. He moved her locks aside, tickled her eardrum. Draupadi was thrilled. Forgetting everything they were about to mutually surrender when suddenly he became shy. As Draupadi was looking on , breasts rose on his chest as in a woman. Its nipple seemed staring at Panchali. His hair lengthened. The beauty of his body vying with that of the goddess, made Draupadi feel ashamed. The bashful Arjuna , who was ambidextrous in the science of archery, covered his chest with his shawl. Then with great weariness he sat on the floor and sobbed.
Draupadi did not know what to do. She was paralysed with bewilderment. But as she had been overcome with sensations at Arjuna’s touch, her heart was eager to merge with him. Before the wearied man, she stood like a real woman with the pain of a wearied mind. The twin grieving hearts fell into the lap of darkness which spread over and hid the beauties of the Gandhamadhana forest. Innumerable swans were swimming freely in the lotus pond in front of them. While she was looking on she saw a female swan inviting another female swan for sexual play and the latter accepting the invitation and both indulging in sensual play, Draupadi’s heart became free from the grief in her heart.
Her mind told her that Draupadi should start from here. There was a time when all beautiful women desired to accept Arjuna. But it was at the rejection of all including Subhadra that Draupadi must commence her role.
Draupadi meekly placed her hand on his shoulder. At the next she whispered into his ears.
“I don’t regret my husband becoming a woman.”
Arjuna looked at Draupadi astonished. Draupadi went on.
“We have to imbibe some lessons from nature. The earth is an open book. Haven’t you seen the ants collecting provisions during the rainy season? The creatures living on the earth are our preceptors. See,here God in the form of a female swan has shown us a way to alleviate your sorrow.”
Arjuna did not bother to look into the pond. One thing is confirmed. Subhadra’s non-cooperation is the biggest retaliation the able-handed Arjun faced. As she was Krishna’s sister, he had loved her more intensely than any one.
Draupadi slowly sat close to Arjuna. She quietly lifted his face.
“Look at me, Partha, You are acceptable to me whatever be your form. I will never reject you. I’m your wife. See, my beloved, in the midst of this beauty, only Parthan and Draupadi are here. See who all are around us. When you see these beautiful sights, who doesn’t feel excited? All trees shine with leaves and fruits. No thorny plants are seen. A variety of trees and vines with leaves flowers and fruits. The beetles which suck the honey from the lotus and growl round the flowers can be seen all over the pond. Look, the elephants with their female ones get into the water and make it muddy. The vines are blooming and the peacocks are dancing with their outstretched feathers. Fountains of water fall and break from the streams flowing from the big palm tree as high as hills. The birds also approach in sensual frenzy, Partha…Here when you and me with you are to suck the verdure of the beauty of the forest, how can I restrain from getting sensual? How many days of your companionship I missed? How many nights I sighed thinking of you? In front of the playful swans who happily swim across and play, you accept me and hold me close to you.”
Arjuna looked at his own body with misery. Does he think that I become emotional seeing his feminine body? Draupadi leaned on his shoulder. With her left hand she caressed him.
“ What I want is not Arjuna’s figure and beauty. That full mind. I’m doing the duty of a wife, Partha. What you could not give me as Arjuna for long, give me in this form. Accept me. What Subhadra has rejected…Draupadi is accepting.”
Here you can see the difference between the two. Arjuna delved deep into Draupadi. Like the swans in the pond they were immersed in the magical world of amorous play, melting into each other, forgetting everything, embracing, making up for all the seasons they missed and fell into a wearied stupor.
(Cont’d)
