Gandhamadan was over. Again when they got into the Dwaitha (Twin) Forest again, Draupadi remembered it was the first forest they passed through. Thoughts of ill omen tortured her mind. Umpteen toils and travails of the journey. Her feet do not give her pain. She must have got used to it. Now she has got confidence. Arjuna is with her! Draupadi realized that occasionally during the journey Parthan behaves to Draupadi without any bashfulness or hesitation. Dharmaputra was not paying any attention to Arjuna’s joining them. He might think that the one who was cursed by a woman would not be able to appease women and make them happy! They stayed in Gandhmadhanam itself and somewhere else people inhabited for one year. They could have set out for Hastinapuri. Her mind was constantly telling her that some mishaps would happen during this journey. Here She could seek refuge only in Govinda. Govinda filled in her mind. The notes of the flute which brought the ecstasy of love capable of merging into the soul comes flowing quietly into her mind. During hardships and crises it was this song of the flute which filled her mind and smoothened her, she remembered. When you see a peacock feather, immediately you think of Govinda. When you see the stem of a reed you feel the bluish black one’s presence…Even if you see blue-coloured flowers, you feel that it’s Krishna. The mind as a whole is soaked in Krishna. What is happening to me? It has been like this since his gifting her with cloth in the court. A resting place was chosen by the lotus pools. The Pandavas went to collect the fruits, stems etc and to enjoy the beauty of the forest. Yudhishthira took Arjuna by compulsion. They might not have gone to a far distance. But why couldn’t he leave him behind with me? It was spring time. The flowering trees and vines have given the forest an unearthly beauty.
Draupadi sat near the place where the rivulet was merrily breaking into ripples of laughter flowing downwards and falling. She told the wild stream which had the childishness of the shy and timid adolescent girls.
‘ One day I had an adolescent time when I hopped up and jumped like you. That day I saw an unworldly glory in the temple of Gowri Devi. At that time when the mind was eager for a partner I loved the manliness I saw before me. My love was deep…Pure also! Have you ever loved, beautiful girl…?’ The wild stream giggled and flowed away in front of her.
Embarrassed, she looked on and simply said.
One more time…if only I could see that embodiment of love of mine!
Did the grass flock in the sides move ? Or was it my illusion. A warrior holding firm on the tree-vines came and stood before Draupadi. She leaped up. Incredible was the meeting! The one whom she wanted to see one more time, lo, has come before me. A pleasing chill ran through her body. The moment she wanted to see him, he came just in front of her She pinched on her body to check whether it was truth or myth. The body was paining. Yes, it was true!
Karna! The glory of that face is beyond words to describe. The gold-studded ear ornaments shone dazzlingly. Did my eyes close in its glory? Somehow, it took some time to absorb the reality.
“Oh, Great Queen, You are alone in this forest?” Absorbed in the resounding deep voice, she smiled and said. “I’m not alone…you are with me!”
Anga- King laughed. The seven hues of the rainbow revealed beautifully in his laugh.
O my mind, be calm. Draupadi is not a lady love any more. She is the wife of five husbands.
“You were alone till I came, weren’t you?” Karna’s voice was very soft.
“No.” Draupadi asserted. Was Karna confused? His facial expression changed.
“I have a request.” Draupadi looked at Karna.
“Don’t call me Great Queen. We lost our kingdom and are wandering like foresters, my husbands and I. You also supported it, didn’t you Anga-King?”
Karna’s face looked gloomy.
“Don’t think like that. Duryodhana is my intimate friend. He supported me at my fall. He made me the King of the country Anga. As he changed my disgraceful name of the son of the charioteer, I’m obliged to him and I can never repudiate my friend. The Karna who stood in that Court was my corpse. My friend knew that I would not support him in humiliating the Great Queen. He was upset by his friend’s sorrow; that was the reason for such a scene in the Court.”
“Sorrow?”
Yes. Sorrow. I told my friend about Draupadi’s Swayamvara like this.
‘Friend, This is not a Swayamvara. Marriage. Draupadi and I are in love. Draupadi will have no need to think. I am her man. But you know what happened ! I was humiliated. Draupadi became Arjuna’s! How will an intimate friend tolerate this misfortune? Later I came to know that you became the wife of the five. In that situation when you were ready for such a thing, what should they think about such a woman? If she were noble she would not be ready for such a disgraceful affair.”
“True” Draupadi nodded.
“Let me ask you one thing, King of Anga! When one woman had sex with five, she became a prostitute. But what kind of friendship made him denude a woman and display her nudity? Their unquenchable spite towards the Pandavas. That was why they made Panchali a scapegoat.”
Wrath foamed up in Panchali. She forgot the adolescent love she had fondly remembered till then. She turned into a noble wife.
This Draupadi’s body and mind are only for the five Pandavas. Nobody else will come to claim it. I won’t allow it to happen either.”
“But …those five were not there to save you from that adversity and utter disgrace—you should also remember that. This forest life would not have happened.”
Karna’s voice had lowered. Draupadi stood transfixed unable to give a reply.
Karna had tied a piece of his yellow cloth to the tip of the arrow stuck to the ground. After fixing the arrow to the ground he said.
“This is Karna. The arrow which has pierced into the earth has Karna’s mind. I have come to save you.”
“ To save ? Me?” She asked astonishingly.
“Yes. Dartharashtras(the Kauravas) have come to the forest. I have told them that I would search here. My suspicion is not misplaced. You should be careful.”
The unpleasant thoughts I had while we were setting out from Gandhamadhanam have started casting a bad omen.
“Before they come searching, I should return. I have to tell them that the Pandavas are not in this region.”
Karna walked forward. Then he turned back and said.
“I won’t cheat my friend. But I am not helping the Pandavas either. It is only because, I still have that holy memory in mind I felt for you at Gowri Temple. Anga King Karna has not yet forgotten it…I can never forget that big loss I had.”
Finally his voice sounded shattered. Only after holding on to the vine and swaying as on a swing, Karna disappeared from sight, Draupadi was conscious of the surrounding and she looked around. She felt the pain of a great loss trickling into her heart. Yes. This is a big loss, indeed.
(Cont’d)
