The sights and sounds of the railway station made it easy to ignore him. He kept trying to catch her eye, but she kept her face resolutely turned away from him. She had made up her mind not to even look at him before leaving. Unfortunately, the wave of resentment and anger got the better of her and just when the train was about to leave, she finally looked at him and asked, “Do you have anything you want to tell me?”
He looked into her eyes and said, “I know that you are hurt, but if you only give me a chance to explain and forgive me for keeping things from you, and if you still believe that I love you more than anybody in this world, please come back. Take a break, we both need it, then I will explain what happened, I know you will not believe anything I say now.”
She could see that he was holding back tears, he looked like he wanted to say something more, but the train pulled out of the station taking her away from him. Her hard exterior broke and she became a sobbing mess.
She got herself under control and came back to her seat sniffling. It seemed like the past in reverse, she remembered the first time when she came to this city, they were newly married, bright-eyed and full of hope, dreaming of the life they would start together and full of love and admiration for each other. 3 years later she is leaving alone with a shattered heart and broken dreams. She felt adrift, floating in a sea of hurt, hopeless and lost, lost forever.
She called the only person she could talk to- her mother. “Ma, I left him. I’m coming home. I can’t stay a single second more with a person who betrayed my trust.” Her mother listened silently and then asked, “What was his side of the story? Did you both discuss separation?”
” No, I don’t want to discuss it, and I don’t want any more lies,” she replied shortly feeling a bit hurt. She felt betrayed again. Her mother was supposed to be there for her, console her, tell her that she was right in coming home. But no, she thought savagely, her mother would never get past the mindset given to her by her parents. She listened incredulously as her mother went on about her ‘modern mindset’. According to her mother it sad the way a modern woman handles an extra-marital affair, did she think that these things didn’t happen in olden times? Those days there was no way to know if there was an extramarital affair going on or not. It is modern technology that enables women to spy on their husbands and hurt themselves when they find out things they were not supposed to know about. Men have never been saints, she said, they all face periods of crisis and have affairs to overcome midlife crises or whatever emotional needs they could not fulfill at home. The main thing to remember is that an affair always ends sooner or later, and life goes back to normal. Did she think her father was above such things? He had his share of affairs, but he always came back to his family, her mother forgave him, and life went on peacefully.
She could not form a coherent comeback to such blatant sexism and after stuttering angrily for a few seconds snapped her phone shut with her mother’s carefree laughter still ringing in her ears.
She knew she was making what people would term a “difficult decision”. But many of life’s decisions are painfully difficult to make, and we are never sure what lies ahead, and she wanted to go on in life, even if she was to go on alone.
Speaking to her mother had made her even more restless. As she watched the land roll by from her window taking her further away each second from her safe, comfortable life she began to wonder…Was this the right decision? Was she being silly? She took out her phone and looked at the messages again. She sneered at the first one, the person messaging her had said that they were a well-wisher. She did not for a second believe that this “well-wisher” was anyone other than a gossipy neighbor or friend forwarding the same pictures to all who knew her and having a good old laugh at the breakdown of her marriage. Seeing the photos of her husband with another woman broke her heart all over again. He looked so happy, and the woman was much younger and beautiful. How could he look her in the eye and say that he loved her still? What possible explanation could he give her that would repair the trust she had placed in him? A part of her was scared that if she had let him explain she might be inclined to take him back just because that was the easiest thing to do. She knew that she would let him win her over if she gave him time and so she did the only thing she knew would protect her heart- run away. If only she could figure out who this so-called “well-wisher” was who sent her those photos in the first place. She wanted the full story, wanted to know each cruel cut of his betrayal and how deep it ran.
One thing was sure, she could not stick to her original plan of staying with her mother. She had never approved of her outspoken ways and had made it clear that she was overreacting to this situation. If the conversation they had earlier was any indication, they would constantly butt heads over their differences. She sighed, her mother deserved her peace and quiet in her old age. She was not going to burden her with an adult daughter who had decided to start over in life.
She had a postgraduate degree in English and a degree in education which she never used because work was never in her life plan after marriage. She married straight after graduation and set about being a good wife. Well, it was time to put those degrees to use now, a good English teacher was always in demand somewhere. She would get a job and start her life anew.
Lost in deep thoughts of the future and soothed by the rhythmic chugging of the train she fell asleep and woke to the piercing sound of the train whistle just in time to realize that she needed to get off at the next station.
While gathering her belongings, she glanced at her phone and saw numerous missed calls and message notifications. All the messages began with apologies and excuses which quickly chased away the calm the nap had brought her. She turned off her phone and dropped it in her bag as she got ready to get off the train.
Despite her mother’s unhappiness with her decision, she had still sent the house car to pick her up from the station. The familiarity of her childhood car welcomed her home, and she spent the ride home wondering what awaited her when she reached home.
When she entered the house, ready to battle her mother, she found that her mother, oddly enough, did not confront her at once. She went about her usual routine as if it were every day that her grown daughter showed up on her doorstep with her life in tatters. She could not make head or tail of it, so she took the cue from her mother and went about settling in. She took a long, hot shower washing away the grime of travel and reveling in the peaceful feeling of being home.
After taking a bath she came out of her room and immediately, the peaceful feeling evaporated. Her mother was talking to ‘him’.
“Yes, yes she reached safely. What? Her phone is turned off? I will ask her why. Do not worry my son, all this will be sorted out soon. Oh look, our stubborn girl is sitting here glaring at me.”
Mother sat in the chair opposite her and asked, ” Did you ask him who that girl is?”
She looked at her mother incredulously wondering how she could talk civilly to the person who broke her heart.
” No” she snapped, ” What is there to ask?”
Her mother did not seem upset by her rude answer, her calm facade did not falter even a little.
“Well, if you had listened to his side of the story instead of running away like a jilted movie heroine you would’ve found out that the girl is in fact his sister. Half-sister to be more precise.”
Her mouth fell open in shock. Recovering she said, “That’s the best excuse he could come up with? A half-sister?!”, she exclaimed her voice rising in agitation. She had expected him to make excuses, but this was too much. Did he really think that she would be stupid enough to believe such a blatant lie? Her mother was so ready to look past this that she might be taken in but not her.
Her mother waited for her to finish and continued with a voice of infuriating calmness,” He told me the whole story, it’s his half-sister, his father’s daughter, he found out only recently when settling his father’s affairs after he passed away.”
“His father who he told me was a saint had an illicit affair which resulted in a child who was hidden away all these years.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I expected him to come up with a better story honestly. And placing the blame conveniently on his dead father who cannot prove it either. Bravo! On second thought, it is a well thought up excuse,” she scoffed angrily.
Her mother finally looked annoyed. She held the receiver away from her and said,
” It’s a story that can be easily checked out so why would he lie about it? And do you think that I did not already investigate? The girl also called and spoke to me, she tried calling you to explain and he sent you proof as well but your phone is turned off so obviously you did not see any of it. They both are on the way here, maybe seeing the proof with your own eyes will bring you to your senses”.
She stubbornly shook her head refusing to listen to another word. “A family of master manipulators and I’m caught in this. Ma, don’t you see? They’ve got you under their spell completely.”
Mother looked at her earnest face for a few seconds and then burst out laughing, she could hear him join in over the phone as well.
Her mother sighed and said, “You will keep finding reasons to fight, won’t you?”
Then to her son-in-law she said,” Yes, yes I am trying to put some sense into her head”.
Slowly, a bubble of hope formed in her chest, they could not all be conspiring against her, could they? Her mother seemed so sure he was telling the truth, and if they had proof…She was suddenly seized with an overwhelming desire to hear his voice, and the need to hear any explanations went out the window. She grabbed the phone from her mother and when she heard his voice and laugh, she felt silly for ever doubting him. They both spoke over each other trying to say everything at once, their conversation interspersed with laughter and tears.
“I hope you learned your lesson in keeping things from me,” she said in a false serious voice with a big smile on her face.
“Well, to be fair anybody else might’ve at least listened to my explanation before running off to their mommy,” he teased her back.
Her mother smiled and left them to makeup, she went back to reading her newspaper and planning lunch for her son in law.
They spoke and she listened to the whole story, by the end of it she felt incredibly silly and very eager to meet his sister and apologize for all the confusion she caused. She suddenly remembered something and asked him, “So who was that ‘well-wisher’ who sent me the pictures in the first place?” He burst into laughter again and said, “Well do you see an older version of yourself calmly sitting in her armchair reading her newspaper?”
“What? Why are you describing my mother…? No, wait…please don’t tell me….”, she looked at her mother in horror.
Her husband carried on, “I didn’t know who to turn to and Ma said that we couldn’t not acknowledge the poor girl. She was the one who encouraged me to meet her.”
She experienced a whole range of emotions listening to him. Anger, betrayal, amusement, and intense embarrassment. She looked over at her mother fully intending to unleash her wrath on her. The old lady looked up from her paper, smiled cheekily at her, and winked.
About The Author
