The next day when I came back from college, Santha told me that Mon had a fever. Quickly I went and checked him. His forehead and body were burning hot. The temperature had shot up to 103 degrees! Immediately, a water-soaked cloth was put on his forehead and body.
Roy was out of the station. I remained puzzled for a few moments. The paracetamol syrup that was at home was given to him. As the temperature had shot up to this degree, I thought it was bad if I delayed.
Santha and I took him to a nearby private hospital in an auto. The doctor examined him and said that he should be admitted. I was completely bewildered. On one side it was the anxiety regarding Mon. On the other, the regret that Roy was out of the station. It was the first time that he was admitted to hospital. If Roy had been here, I would have felt strong. Is there any father who is not worried about his own child, despite the quarrels between the husband and the wife?
I do not know how I spent that night in the hospital. The fire burnt in me when I saw my son dozing off completely fatigued and weak. “ O God, let not anything unpleasant happen to my child!” I prayed a heart-rending request.
Santha’s companionship was a great relief to me. In the morning, his fever subsided a little. The doctor told me that he would be discharged once the course of injections was over.
Informed the college that I would be on leave. In the afternoon, a few of them came to see him. A few among the neighbours as well.
“Where’s Roy?” It was difficult to answer the question that came from many.
Thomas Abraham Sir and Prakash came together. Prakash sat on the chair by Mon’s cot, and observing him asked a few questions.
“Roy…? He stopped meaningfully.
“Out of the station,” I replied changing my point of attention deliberately to him.
After a while at an unexpected moment, when I lifted my head, I noticed Prakash observing me.
That look…
I felt as though I was melting into the thin air.
At the next moment, I thought, wasn’t it kindness in his look? As though he seemed to comfort me. As if he was trying to blot my sorrow into him. As if he wished to pour energy and courage into me.
Mon woke up from his sleepiness and struggled to open his eyelids. When he saw his ‘uncle’, he smiled at him. Prakash rubbed his hand gently. Thomas Abraham Sir talked to him playfully.
Finally, when they stood up for parting, both of them said: “If you have any need, don’t hesitate to tell us.”
Prakash gave me a number. It is his landlord’s. If any need is there, don’t hesitate to call him.
Prakash told me he would come back the next day.
Prakash, if you had been a woman, you would have become my best friend. You seem to be my mirror. Because of this, when you come near me, happiness and relief together fill in my heart; restlessness too. Your words have the sharpness of a sword and the softness of a feather. Because I experience comfort and grief in your understanding of me at the same time.
The next day Prakash came with Seena. They brought oranges and grapes. The fourth day! It was a Saturday. Prakash came when we got the discharge sheet and I was about to go to the cash to pay the bill. Prakash said he would do it. While we were packing things, he went to call the taxi.
Mon was in a haste to reach home.
Suddenly, the sound of footsteps at the door—Roy!
I felt the waves of mixed emotions of shock, surprise, and grief rolling up in me.
I don’t know why, …tears rushed into my eyes. I was truly finding it difficult not to weep. When I remembered how I spent the previous days and nights without any moral support…Roy’s presence would have meant a lot to me… an indescribable strength would have been there in that situation. The feelings that had been blocked in me yearned for an outlet, an overflow…
Roy came to Mon’s bed and touched his hand.
“Pappa…” he called and his face brightened. “Where were you, Pappa? I was not well….” A sign of guilty conscience flashed on Roy’s face.
“The taxi has come.” With those words, Prakash entered, and Roy turned round to meet his eyes at the same moment. It seemed Prakash was a little shamefaced. Roy stared at Prakash. After a while, he spoke, “I came on the scooter. You can come by taxi.” Roy said.
“Oh …No…Roy Sir, you can go with them by car. I can take your scooter over there., if you want.”
Without saying anything, Roy handed over the keys to Prakash. When he came home on the scooter, though I invited him to have tea, he went away, saying he was in a hurry.
I told Roy about Mon’s fever and other problems. After listening to the whole narration, he responded: “Oh…You hadn’t any difficulty, had you? There were lots of people to take care of you.”
Pretending not to have got the hidden meaning in Roy’s remark, I told him about those who came from college to see Mon. Roy didn’t even seem to have listened to it. When we were about to go to bed, “ You didn’t expect my coming, did you? You two had the look of Satan seeing the cross on seeing me. Ah, I have blocked your golden chance to come together!” I stood there unable to resist that poisonous arrow. Unarmed…without any arrow, with no shield to protect me….
There are no arrows in my sheath for self-defence….Even if I have them…it is a waste of effort….I ought to have realized it long ago.
(Cont’d)
About The Author
