“Vinod! Come here!” Roy called loudly. He must have intended to ask him to bring something. Vinod came, peeped in, and ran away.
“Hey, brat! I ask you to come here.” He shouted; still, he did not turn up.
“ You won’t come, will you?” Roy went after him angrily. Vinod ran to me for shelter. Roy again came after him, dragged him from my lap, and thrashed him on the thigh three or four times. When I tried to block him the beating fell on me too. Vinod cried loudly. Roy muttered some things in terrible anger and returned.
“What kind of training is given to him in growing up? What to say! Isn’t he brought up aloof from his father?”
Vinod kept on weeping. Poor boy! How can a boy of hardly four years have the thinking capacity of a grownup man? Roy has a constant complaint that he is being kept aloof from Roy. I had not created this aloofness. He keeps Vinod away from him. No petting; no fondling! Whenever Vinod hears the noise and quarrelling between us, fear is seen in his eyes. Many a time, he had cried out of fear during Roy’s angry outbursts. He will be sitting in some corner, or hugging me closely, in utter fear. When I weep, he will wipe away my tears as they roll down, and will ask, “Why do you cry, Mummy? Pappa is bad, isn’t he?”
Roy treats him as a grown-up person. His usual terms to address him are either his name or ‘boy’, ‘brat’, etc. He never uses any endearing terms when he calls him. He is scared of Roy. What can I do?
The common saying is that once a child is born any family of disunity will unite. I wonder, why Vinod does not become a link of unity in connecting Roy and me.
Another reason for Roy’s enmity is Vinod’s affinity towards me. Will there be any child who is not close to his or her mother? Vinod’s basic nature is to get easily close to others. How can I be responsible for his being distant from his father?
Vinod will not move away from his Prasad Uncle. Wasn’t he even ready to go to America? Prasad had told him that he would take him over there. He added by way of explanation.”Chechy! I was not joking. I’m going to try for a scholarship in higher studies for you. Hadn’t you desired much for it? As you had a brilliant career at the University you will get a chance. It will be a good change as well for you.”
“Will it be possible Vinod? How can I come? Will Roy agree to it?”
“You must make him consent to it. If he wants he can also come.”
“How will I present the matter of higher studies to a person who wants me to throw away my job? Impossible!”
“This is the best opportunity you can ever have. My opinion is not to waste it. What do we live for? Just for eating and drinking? All do it, don’t they? Let Roychayan also come and understand how the world is broad!”
“Will Roy ever understand all this if I tell him?
“He should understand. Or, do you think, you should spoil your life for the whims and fancies of a person? Chechy, you think about it.”
“I don’t know Prasad….I don’t know…”
“You should be a little more bold, Chechy! This is not the old times. This is not the Age of Slaves. This is an Age of a generation who have their viewpoints and power of thinking—whether it’s a woman or a man…”
“What is the relevance of one’s perspective and willpower in the case of personal relationships?”
“Chechy, as far as possible, we must try not to wound anybody. But some people cannot but get wounded by others. What shall I say about such people?”
“ Prasad, since you are a man you can easily say that. Am I not a woman? Don’t I have some limitations? What will I do? My perspectives and power of thinking have to be sacrificed for sure.”
“ It is a fact. In India… especially in Kerala! Chechy, if there is love, there is no need to sacrifice anything. It is a pity that it has to be done like that because of the husband’s desire for authority over his wife, and other complexes. Where there is true love, a merging must happen!”
“Prasad, dear, you have the broadmindedness to understand these things. Others are not like that. Do you think that Roy will take these things in this way?”
“If not, he will realize through his experiences.”
I would like to pursue higher studies. Even in the old days, my craze was in reading. If only I had Roy’s cooperation…!
I was ready to be a partner in Roy’s ups and downs. But Roy does not seem to need my cooperation. I desired that Roy should rise and shine in his favourite field. I was even prepared to make any sacrifice needed. But Roy had no interest in it.
If I say anything regarding the giving up of his job, he will bully back.
“I will do only the things I like. I don’t want any of your suggestions.” That will be his retort.
Roy had not known any hardships from his childhood. He had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He had not even been trained to do work with responsibility. Roy’s prestige did not allow him to take up small jobs. All his friends were rich. He was scared to think of becoming less than them. As he was a businessman, he was reluctant to be a subordinate to another person in another company. My constant thought and attempt was how to free Roy from such mental blocks and false prestige.
But my fate was getting strangled in the networks of problems.
Vinod is growing up. He will reach an age when he will understand everything. I regret that we are not able to lead a model married life. Won’t my son’s mind get distorted? Will I be able to free him from this vicious circle?
(Cont’d)
