Casting a grateful smile at Fate for giving another sleepless night, Draupadi stood by the window. In the light of the
rag-torch blazing in gingelly oil, she saw he watchmen , sleepless, pacing up and down . If a woman marries five men and has sexual intercourse with the five, how will the world perceive her! A man can marry as many times as possible! He can have sex with as many as he likes. Two separate laws for woman and man! Why did those who abided by the laws become unlawful in the case of Draupadi? How did Dharmaputra who blows his own trumpet on his righteousness become unrighteous in Draupadi’s case? A man never gives his wife over to another as long as he is alive. That indicates the man’s low-mindedness. If we think on this line, who is Arjuna who gave Draupadi over for the use of his elder and younger brothers? How could Arjuna feel like doing that to Draupadi? So Draupadi is the problem. If she had been an ordinary woman, she would have become the single wife of a single person. Suddenly the armoured-ear-ring –bearing man came into her mind. Isn’t it Karna standing always in front of me with the sparkle in his eyes and mesmerism in his smile? Karna whom I married first in my heart! Garlanding me with the chain of the beads of love strung along the veins of heart around my neck, Karna proclaims:
“ Draupadi! You are mine!”
“Yes, indeed! Oh my Lord, my beloved I , Panchali, love
you much more intensely than anybody else in the world.”
Every breath of hers chants his name, ‘Karna, Karna, my beloved.’She thanked her own mind which was immersing its face into the broad chest of Karna. Inwardly, she prepared a bed of the blossoms of love and transformed herself into the Draupadi who married Karna. Her dreams put forth tender shoots. Desires blossomed. The wavy ripples rose and fell in Karna’s gentle caressing. The soft and kind words of love he whispered into her ears fell as a cool shower into her heart. Karna blew over her body like a gentle breeze. In that dreamy union Draupadi experienced the fulfillment of her ecstasy. The memory of this ecstasy will be my reality till my last breath, Draupadi ruminated. At the other end of her languor, when she woke up, with sensations of tremor, she came to sense the pillow which was Karna to her. She laughed in memory of her first night. There was in her laugh music, blending with the rhythm of self- submission. The burden and refrain …the ascension and dissension…were there. A booming tree has only love and care for the one who comes to pluck the flowers . There’s submission and dedication to those who come to gather the flowers for a deity. When the moonlight appears the water lilies are thrilled and excited. While she waits for her beloved to shower forth the cool twilight , the mind is exhorted to surrender everything to the love-lorn Moon. Draupadi thought
‘I’m the booming tree and the water lily, sick of love and longing to be beside my beloved.’
Karna whom I married first in my heart!
The armoured –ear-ring worn Karna who I was enamoured of!
Did I ever love Dharmaputra? She asked her own mind. She got the answer ‘No’. Hatred. Abject hatred. That was my feeling for him! I can never forget and forgive the deceit he played on me, however hard people try to justify it. He had deceived not me alone. Hasn’t he himself told me the story of Ekalavya? His exile might be a cooked up story. Nobody would bother about a tribal boy’s death. Dronar or somebody else might have chopped his head off! The Pandavas are deceitful people. No doubt about it. But now I’m their wife. All misgivings may lie buried in me. The morning passed on very quickly. The dawn has entered with the languidness of a sleepless night dabbed on the face.
The second night was Bhima’s. A man with a heavily built and unusually huge physique! Fear overcame Draupadi. As he used to consume food with heavy handfuls, the flesh under the cheeks was sagging. Draupadi thought he was a giant or a monster. While she was sitting by the bridegroom , unknowingly she glanced at Arjuna. She saw him cursing himself. It was in Arjuna’s case that excessive piety towards the Gurus became a calamity. The treachery they played on Ekalavya followed the Pandavas like a bane. When Ekalavya lost his thumb, Arjuna’s chest would burn like a stove. When he dared to share Panchali among the five of them, he became a eunuch. He got the bad reputation of a good-for-nothing person. Arjuna turned his face aside, when he saw Draupadi looking at him. He must have thought that the next day was his turn. Shameful!
Bhima seemed to be in a hurry to finish off the wedding. The spectators were amused and they laughed seeing his trepidation. He wanted to reach the dining hall at the earliest after the wedding . Immediately after the wedding Bhima said in Draupadi’s presence itself .
“First to be in the dining room. We should eat first.”
Vrukodara behaved as though he were seeing food for the first time. Draupadi felt ashamed. While Father and Brother were looking on, he greedily dumped scoops and scoops of food stuff into his mouth. With great astonishment she looked at Mother . She was crying!
“How will my daughter feed this kind of a gluttonous man?”
Draupadi looked at Sister Shikhandi- Ujjwala. “Sister will give you the answer, Mother.”
Mother was surprised once again. Draupadi moved to
Mother and said.
“Swayamvara is selection by self. Competition is bargaining. Here, the person who won divided the gift into five. The real owner can give a portion to any glutton. No one will question.”
Ujjwala bent her head in remorse.
In the dwelling prepared for Bhima, she stood with the wet rucksack of her sorrow . Who knows whether the gluttonous Bhima won’t run to the dining room, while the beautiful Draupadi in the full bloom of youth stands waiting for the next night. Again when I’m left alone, only Anga King Karna, who comes in the jewelled chariot of imagination will be a shelter. Tonight is also for Karna. She desires only for that. Am I not afraid of Bhima in truth? Her anger rose to belching. His look was unbearable. Sometimes, the giant-like Bhima may tear me apart. It’s heard that he has married a tribal woman called Hidumbi! A most fitting partner for him! But Draupadi came only up to his finger. It was Mandakini who told her Bhima-Hidumbi story. How did she come to know of this, I wonder. Finally, she whispered in her ear with a romantic smile.
“My fear is, Princess! Prince Bhima who had lived with the tribal woman knows only their language. Poor Princess! I can’t even think of the situation in your bedroom.”
“ Sakhi, Enough of your joke. The situation may turn to be death. What I need now is death.” Mandakini shuddered!
(Cont’d)
