The Waves that Touch the Shoes
Jacky stared in doubt at Cryptal ‘5’ Carmel who came down the stairs. Something improper was going on in that hotel. The girl accompanying the Sister was beautiful. Anxiety and fear were apparent on her face. Was that fair beauty a prostitute? Hair covered a part of her face. At one glance she looked like an Indian or Pakistani. Sister Carmel did not see them. Near the table facing the staircase, some foreigners were sitting. There were wine bottles, glasses and food on the table. Near another table Jacky noticed the love game of kisses and hugs. The whole place looked so strange to him.
Sister Carmel and the woman passed by their table without noticing them. He again looked at the table of the lovers. The white lady is kissing on the lips and cheeks of the man like a child! Is this a hotel or a kissing hub? If something like this happened in a hotel in Kerala, religious fanatics would close the hotel for ever. If you think otherwise, what is there to be blamed about in their loving kiss? Why should other people bother about a man kissing a woman? Whether, it takes place inside a hotel, or outside on the street, the emotional nature has to be considered. How many men and women hide their secrets in masks? Like that every culture has its own nature and masks.
Merlin brought the food and asked him to eat. That large hall was filled with the smell of wine, cooked potato and chicken. People came in and went out. Some men and women sat caressing each other. He peeped at the lovers again. They are still kissing at intervals. He felt a sense of guilt. Why should I peer at the privacy of others?
Anyway, this is not a desirable practice. How many respectable persons are here! But nobody takes heed of it. Perhaps, these hot kisses may be giving them strength. No one shows any kind of dislike or impatience towards this behaviour. A man and a woman go upstairs. The upper storey seemed a nest of secrets to him. Why do they go upstairs? They may be staying in a room there. If so, why did Sister Carmel go out with a girl from there? Isn’t it to make her an inmate of the Sister’s Care home? People who are sitting at the other tables eat, drink and make merry. To Jacky all this was like a dream.
While eating Merlin looked at him and smiled. Some people are talking on the mobile. Jacky noticed one thing specially. Here women do not do much make-up by smearing creams and powder on their cheeks and lips. They also do not wear expensive ornaments.
Is that because of wisdom or lack of wisdom? A person’s real beauty does not lie in his or her complexion, dress or makeup but in character. White is the colour of milk. The people here take pride in being fair – complexioned. He looked at the black man at the next table drinking beer. People of each country have a different complexion. When they got out of the hotel he looked at the name board –‘Bag Dog’ was the hotel’s name. Jacky wondered. Does the hotel have the name of a dog?
They got inside the car to return to the ‘Care Home’. Sometimes Merlin’s looks seemed to hide some secret. He could not understand their message always. Was it sincere love and friendship? Like peeping at others suspicion is also an illness of the Malayalees. This is usually found more among couples. Today’s divorces also belong to this species. If some person shares love, if he smiles, asks for a help or talks privately should we suspect it? Intelligent people know that it is a dangerous tendency. A baby knows that its mother deserves its love most. Like that there are many sincere relationships. Those who do not possess this faith fall a prey to the disease called suspicion. He should not suspect Merlin. See how many flowers blossom in her smile.
She has not done anything wrong. If her look and smile disturb you, you should move from there immediately. His mind is entangled in Merlin simply because he knows that she had also been a prey to sexual harassment. Look at Sister Carmel. The love, gladness, smile and prayer that she shares with them have soothed their wounded hearts. They know that if they returned to that sin, the resulting wound would be incurable.
Therefore, don’t look at them with the eye of suspicion. Now they are the protectors of future. Let them be happy like the green leaves that dance in the breeze outside merrily.
Jacky looked out through the window of the car. The cars that flow smoothly through the road is a beautiful sight. Still Merlin the beauty was dancing in his mind. He knew that the people in the Care Home were sweet and sour at the same time. It is only now that they lead a real life. They have realised that their past life was like a burial ground. As they enjoy real life they look at everything with open eyes, laugh and love to their heart’s content. Let those poor things that have no other shelter live here and die here. Why shouldn’t he consider, the smile, the love and the touch of Merlin as that of his own sister?
They reached the care home. After thanking Merlin, he went upstairs. Merlin stood there, smiling at him.
As soon as he reached his room he called home. His parents felt very happy. They advised him to be very careful in life. They said that many people are asking about him. Then he called Sharon. He could hear the phone bell ringing. But nobody took it. Was she in the class room? He stared at the mobile.
He heard footsteps outside. The door of his room was half open. Through it he saw Sister Carmel and the beautiful young woman walking past. He rushed to the door and looked out anxiously. But by that time they had entered the adjacent room. Jacky again turned to his phone. He called his friends at home and talked to them.
Sister Carmel had brought the new inmate Fatima to the room for medical check-up. In that treatment room there were two beds for patients and many modern equipment. Sister Carmel, who was also a doctor, made her lie on one of the beds. She placed the stethoscope on her chest and began to examine. Then two other doctors, who were also nuns, came there with Merlin who had a computer in her hand.
One of the doctors was sister Norin. She was the head of this institution. She was sixty five. After the check-up, Fatima was asked to sit up. The girl was wearing dark jeans and top. The smell of perfume surrounded her. She was wearing expensive shoes. Her filthy body is covered with aromatic dress. Sister Norin thought that it was her fleshy body that led her to prostitution. Sister Norin and her companion sister Camilla felt pity for the lustful women whose lives fall into mud holes in the end.
Sister Norin directed Merlin to make arrangements to clean that woman’s body and to do the AIDS test the next day itself. Merlin agreed. She was going to take her to the hospital. She got ready to record what the woman was going to say, in the computer.
To Sister Norin’s questions in English, Fatima replied with an open mind. The sisters heard with sympathy what she was saying. Fatima belonged to a Pakistani family from Karachi that had settled down in Great Britain. She was born and brought up in the British soil.
Even in her childhood Fatima had to suffer sexual harassment from some members of her own family. When she said that, Sister Carmel looked at Merlin who had the same experience. Like them, how many girls are being tortured by their own families! Though Muslim by birth she had never prayed or gone to the mosque.
Sister Carmel asked “why did you keep away Allah from your life?”
Fatima raised her voice. “Isn’t Allah responsible for placing me in such a situation? “To whichever religion a girl belongs, her ultimate need is a life which is secure and happy. What safety is there for girls like me, at home? My father and relatives are people who go to the Mosque and prostrate before Allah. How can they worship God after committing injustice and sin? Shall I imitate them? That was how I lost faith in God even as a child”.
Nobody was ready to oppose her views. Her eyes were blazing in anger. It was not anger or hatred towards life, but towards the existing conditions. She continued, “The society is led by people who live in the midst of wealth and fame. You know about the purity of their intentions. I need not tell you that. Still, I haven’t included religious people like you or St. Francis among those social leaders. “You live alone for God. That is the real love and care”.
Sister asked again. “Tell me, how did you fall into this path?
She looked at the Sister and said. “At school I had sexual intercourse with my classmates. Many students did what they liked just as I did. There too, no body protected us. We had freedom to do whatever we liked. Freedom became the licence to do wrong things. When my parents blamed me I threatened them saying that I would call the police if they interfered with my privacy. They were afraid to do or say anything more. Who makes human life so complex? My parents who brought me up? The religion I believed in? Or the existing social conditions? If you can find answer to this question, no woman will become a harlot. Members of my family did not make me happy. When I felt that I was a burden to them I left home forever. There is protection for women in this city. I went to the safest place – a brothel. I spent my nights without paying rent. For the last five years, I had been living as a prostitute. In brothels there are girls from every country – Italy, India, Korea, Japan etc. I was mostly used by English men and Americans. They would give me a large amount of money as reward. There were Sanyasis, ascetics, rulers, poets and media persons. I do not know the number of people who came to me for this. I lay naked before them in light. Even while absorbed in the intensity of emotions I felt deep pain and a burning sensation. One of my lovers was a writer. He gave me books. I read much.
Knowledge led me to expectation. I learnt that we reap only what we sow. My sense of guilt began to worry me. I was wishing for a change. It was then that I met Sister Carmel in our brothel. The finger prints of how many men have fallen on my body! What have I earned through that? This question confused and disturbed me. I decided that I would retrieve my life. I disappointed the men who came to see me by sending them back. My mind was flying in search of a new world – a world in which I would get pure air and free atmosphere. And I have found that now”
Sister Carmel replied to her. “Now you realize that a prostitute’s life is a hell. That realization itself is Allah or God. The harassment you suffered at home was not the door opening to the world of sin. For that your parents alone were not responsible. You suffered at the school. You could have told either your teacher or your parents about that. You did nothing of the sort.
You have learnt about the value of pure life only today. Fatima, we should fight with evils, not with God or belief. Your mind has been transformed. You have come to light, leaving darkness behind. This is what makes us happy. You should never again become a slave of sin.”
Fatima’s eyes shone with tears of happiness. She looked at Sister Carmel with love and respect.
(Cont’d)
