For my mma.. – Ansila Shaeira

Do you ever think of your mother?
Well, I Do.
Most of these days..
When I became a mother.

How did she do all that she did?
How did I know she was the only one to rely on?
How did I feel she had all the remedies
she always had..and still, has…

Sometimes I get arrogant,
I have grown big enough to know more.
We argue, we fight,..
And yet I hold on to her,
For the silliest thing,
‘Mma, what should I do now?’
I still ask…

When I see the greying hair,
And the wrinkled skin of yours,
My heart gets sunken down…
I always wanted to grow up,
But I didn’t think you too will…

Your aging body and the weakness hurt
Me the most..
I have seen how you
Were our superwoman..
Who did it all…
Did it too much..
Ran around when you could have taken a nap…
If I could go back,
I wish I helped you more…

I miss my mma, the one who sat with me
Teaching until I knew how to learn myself…
I miss you combing my hair, making pleats in different styles…
I miss my mum,
In my sickness and health.
I miss you calling my name a hundred times,
Did you eat? Sleep? Learn??
And went on to your questions.
I never thought,
We will meet only for counted days…

I want you more…and you need me the most.
But distance has come to us in forms.
And we have accepted it to be.
To forget that you were my world,
Before the world, I ever saw…
And now my child is in that place of yours,
With you. ..
My eternal love, my world …
The both of you..🥰

I cant accept both of your growth,
Or can’t hold on to time.
Its moving and I get scared.,
I knew how I went far away from you,
I know he will too,
There is a life all of us have to live,
And yet, I’m scared,
I should learn to adapt.
To forcefully move away like I had to,
From you…
And keep burning silently forever…

-Ansila Shaeira


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