Through the Breeze of Memory…
Advocate Kottaram Koshy Samuel was happier than usual, on that day. Since he read the newspaper in the morning, his face expressed unspeakable pride and joy. He stood looking at the paddy fields on the western side of the house, stroking the head of his pet dog, Kittu.
‘Kottaram’ is an ancient wealthy family in Thamarakulam. The present head of the family is Advocate Koshy. He is around fifty years of age. His long hair and beard are mixed with black and white hairs. He always moves about like an enthusiastic young man. There are paddy fields and coconut gardens on the western side of the house. The numerous trees and plants carefully cultivated in the compound of the house declare Koshy’s love of nature. The paddy fields stand proudly raising their heads filled with ripe paddy about to be harvested. Even now Koshy uses only organic manure in his paddy fields. Others all around use chemical fertilizers for better yield. But Koshy is not willing to move an inch from his stand. Many tried to persuade him to change his practice. But his answer that he was not interested in choking Mother Nature to death, outwitted them.
Every morning Koshy gets up earlier than all others at home. He exhausts all the dailies by the time others turn up. The weeklies are read by his wife Aleyamma and daughter Sharon. Koshy has two children. The elder son lives in Germany with his family, Sharon, the younger daughter is a PG student.
Aleyamma is a senior official in the Bharanickavu Block office. An old woman from the neighborhood comes every day to help her. She also works in the land after her household duties. Even though he is an advocate by profession, Kottayam Koshy takes only very few cases. His main interest is in agriculture. There is also a fish pond close to the paddy field.
Koshy had already finished his newspaper reading of the day. Still, he turned the pages of the English newspaper once again. His eyes clung to a photo on one of the inner pages. He sat still, looking at that photo with interest, surprise and sympathy. He felt that the rate of his heartbeat was rising. Yes, Yes. This is my sister. She has got our fathers same nose and eyes. She who was brushed away from my blood is now returning to me through this picture in the newspaper. He felt proud. The truth that he had hidden in his mind was rising up again “I am bound to keep the promise that I had given to my father on his deathbed. Whatever price I have to pay for it, I will keep that promise till my death. That secret should not become a topic of discussion for others. When father disclosed it before his death I could not believe it. My father having a daughter in a relationship with another woman! He thought.
Father had then disclosed certain secrets that I had never expected. When I knew that I had an unknown sister, my first feeling was one of negation and feelinglessness. But later I knew that she had understood all these secrets before me. Still she has not put forward any claim and …..has chosen a quiet life as the bride of Christ. Then my heart was filled with respect and love. Now I deeply love my own sister Carmel, born to my father by another woman. “Since then a sincere and strong wish to see this only sister grew up in Koshy’s mind. Once he even went to the convent where she stayed.
But fate was against him. By that time she had left for Italy for higher studies in medicine. Father used to go to Alleppey secretly to meet his daughter. That was not as a father but as a magnanimous sponsor’ helping her financially. He loved her very much. Then, on a Christmas day he told the girl everything. Her eyes filled with tears. Though she felt very emotional, she said nothing
She heard the whole story very patiently. Father looked at her painfully with a sense of guilt. But on her face there was no sign of anger or hatred for the father who had left her as an orphan till then. Neither was there any great elation. Still she was a girl who could not own anybody as her father. Koshy remembered what his father had told him about that particular Christmas day on which he revealed his fatherhood to his first child.
The girl stared at his face for a long time and asked a single question. “Is my mother alive?” He could answer only in the negative. Koshy remembered the sense of guilt and loss and sorrow that clouded his father’s face when he reported this encounter to him, so many years later. The desire to know about her mother was evident on the child’s face. But he had no happy news to offer. He spoke to his daughter in detail about her mother and their relationship
Samuel and Sarah was classmates in the Law College in Bangalore. She was extremely beautiful. They became lovers soon. It was the first love for both of them.
Nobody at home knew about this love affair. For them it was not a simple campus love. They had decided to get married with their parent’s consent after completing the studies. But many unexpected events were waiting for them. Sarah became pregnant. The fact that she was with child before marriage filled her with fear and anxiety.
But still Samuel was not afraid. They had decided to get married whatever might happen. Sarah could not think of going home as a pregnant woman. It was Samuel who decided to have the delivery in Bangalore itself. He looked after Sarah carefully. He engaged himself in part time jobs and earned money for everything.
Sarah’s labour pain started on a rainy day. On their way to the hospital there was an accident. A lorry that had lost control hit on their car. Both Sarah and Samuel were injured. Sarah gave birth to a girl child and died in the hospital. Samuel had been hospitalized for many days.
Samuel’s aunt was a doctor of that hospital. She took care of the situation. She prevented Samuel from returning home with the child and admitted it in an orphanage. Samuel was persuaded to remain in Bangalore and complete his studies. He was made the ‘sponsor’ of his own baby.
Koshy remembered that his father’s eyes were filled with tears when he narrated all these incidents. His own mind was very much perturbed. He did not know how to cure his father’s pain and sorrow. He could not blame Samuel. After some time Koshy said with respect. “Pappa please remember what venerable Peter says in the Romans- “We rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, we glory in tribulations also; knowing that tribulations worketh patience, And patience experience and experience hope”. (Roman 5) So we glorify God even in suffering, even when we have to face death, the bitterest tribulation on earth. Let us rely on Jehovah and go forward. Jesus Christ has given us word that he will be with us, will lead us forward until the end of our life. All sufferings and separations in this world causes us pain. What we want now is a new life and new vigour. Let us pray God to keep our heart pure always. “When Koshy finished his soothing talk, Samuel’s eyes shone with the tears of satisfaction and relaxation.
Koshy woke up from his thoughts and again glimpsed through the newspaper. He looked at the photograph of Sister Carmel with affection and respect. My own elder sister… She has dared to take up the difficult and dangerous task of finding out the women who have been pushed out of society into the drainage and serving them. It is one of the most virtuous duties that a lady can do in the whole map of human life. Some institutions there are helping her. One of the leading dailies in Britain has published this report. It tells in detail about my sister is services and her kindness to all. That is how sister Carmel has found a place in all the important newspapers of the world. Sister, do you know this little brother? No, she doesn’t know…
There is no biographical details about the sister in the report except that she is a nun from Kerala. It may be because she had been brought up in an orphanage. Nobody but myself in the world, knows that she is my sister.
Koshy folded the newspaper and laid it aside. He again fell into thought. How many social workers, rulers, and religious heads are there around us? Why does any one of them do not go to the street and work like my sister? These people are living like fishes caught in a net. Koshy felt proud about the good deeds of his sister. Now Malayalees can also be proud about having led the ‘stray goats’ forward through the right path. He wanted to share this happy news with his wife and daughter. But he did not want to break the promise that he had given to his father. The dead person’s soul will not pardon it. Moreover, he will have to live with a guilty feeling till his death.
Koshy’s turned to the past when his father Samuel had been a renowned lawyer. He had argued cases even against the British authorities. Samuel always stood for the poor and down trodden. In the law court he vehemently argued against the rich men and the Lords who harmed and tortured the helpless poor. When Koshy was a law student he too attended his father’s pleadings in certain murder cases. Even the Judges had been perturbed listening to his sharp and excruciating questions that choked and outwitted the lawyer of the opposing side.
Very often advocates did not turn up to argue against Samuel. There were only very few people who were as fluent in English, as him. When the native people raised slogans against the British in the streets, Koshy’s father was arguing fiercely in the court for the sake of the poor. Where Indians were falling down at the gun shot of the British. Kottaram Samuel was sending murderers to Jail with a death rope around their necks. He was a great man who fought for truth and justice till the very end. Even now he lives in the minds of his so many beneficiaries. Koshy again looked at Sister Carmel’s picture in the newspaper. He had kept this memory as a treasure in his mind for many years. How similar the father and daughter are in their looks?
(Cont’d)
