Panchali , Panchala’s daughter, stood looking farther by the casement of the dwelling her Father had got prepared
for Arjuna. The moon trying to hide his face in the black clouds was reminding her of Arjuna. When he enters the room, will he hide his face like this crescent moon? Or, will he make a self- confession of his guilt? In the kitchen, the preparations are being made for the feast of Nakula’s wedding tomorrow. Drupada’s daughter has spoiled the sleep of the nights of the servants…Is Draupadi making the servants alone miss their sleep? Isn’t she making her husbands spoil their sleep by waiting for their turns forever? Haven’t the King and the Queen of Panchala lost their sleep thinking of their daughter’s misfortune? Haven’t I made Karna, King of Anga, whom I married first in my heart miss his sleep? What about Sister Shikhandi, who tried hard to separate Karna from me also celebrated the competition to its zenith. Brother Drushtadyumnan who threw my life into the fire of the contest too will not sleep any more. And Mother Kunti… the one who threw a woman’s life mercilessly to be crushed by the five like gingelly seed into the oil press, will never sleep again…Sure. The venture she entrusted with her son to keep all the five sons united ! But, she will definitely think, what she has done is immoral and unrighteous!
Footsteps are heard behind. It must be Arjuna only. Draupadi has nothing to offer Arjuna. She has already given her mind to Karna. Yudhishthira and Bhima had shared her body. What does she have now to give Arjuna? If both mind and body are lost. What is left? The Third Pandava does not need anything from Draupadi. The spices were getting smoked and burned slightly with the incense. Draupadi thought it was her mind which was smouldering. In the corner a platter is filled with fruits. For whom? Draupadi’s hunger died on the day of the Swayamvaram itself. Footsteps came nearer and nearer. Arjuna’s smell behind her. Though she wanted to hate him, her mind had surrendered to the vibrations of the body. She was trembling and she was getting sensuous. Or, like Krishna does Arjuna also has magical powers?
“Drupada-Princess…”
Arjuna’s call for the first time. Is there the voice of authority in it? Or the music of love for the soul’s beloved? Unconsciously she responded to his call. She turned and looked at him. Their eyes got intertwined. Draupadi was seeing Arjuna in the royal costumes and grandeur of a Prince for the first time. At the time of wedding she didn’t feel like noticing him fully. When she saw him in that dress she thought it was Karna standing before her. Instinctively, lovingly,when she smiled Arjuna became happy. He said.
“I have done an atrocious crime to you which nobody else has done. Still, is it true that you don’t have hatred towards me? At least why don’t you scold me loudly? Why should I have the reputation of a great heroic-archer? Why did I have the fame of being the first in the science of archery? The precious jewel I had won through competition was shared in pieces among the five. I’m such a wicked, low-based person. I cannot disobey Mother. My eldest brother is like my Father. I cannot resist him either. I’m the most unlucky person to stand in the play of fate. In the whole of Aryavartham I’m the only man who has no bravery and self-respect because I shared my own wife among my five brothers. Forgive me, Panchali.”
Arjuna’s eyes were flooded.
Draupadi knew that his wet eyes pained her. She withdrew into herself. In front of her Arjuna was standing with the countenance of Karna. But before Draupadi there was no Arjuna. It was Karna whom she worshipped in her heart. She smiled.
Draupadi stripped off the outer covering of her silence. She consumed the intoxication of the glorious light which was within the black cloth, and said.
“ You are my husband. For a wife her husband is her soul’s mate. I garlanded Parthan first. Only later I came to know that it was Arjuna. From then onwards, Parthan alone was my husband. When you came in the form of a Brahmin I accepted my fate. But here beyond God’s will, what man has decided happened.
Arjuna moved forward a few more steps. She felt that her beauty was making him wildly crazy. Arjuna trembled. His voice also.
“Don’t you feel hatred towards me?” Draupadi, crushing her ill will said softly.
“Yes. I felt hatred towards you when the eldest brother made gambling as his wife! When he made me an opponent in the game of dice, Arjun! I hated you. When Bhima came second and when I was crushed in his sexual perversions, I felt like killing you. But now. … I don’t nurse any anger or hatred.”
Draupadi’s locks of hair flew in the west wind coming through the open window. Arjuna slowly tucked her curls back and lifted her face. He looked into her long eyes and asked.
“Did I hear right?”
“Um..” She stood with bent head and murmured. “Did Bhimasena hurt you? No wonder. The birth of a giant—a forest-dweller. No submissiveness at all.”
Draupadi covered Arjuna’s mouth with her fingers. A smile appeared on her face and she daubed it with a joke and said.
“Don’t forget that Bhimasena is my husband.”
The fragrance of the lotus flower rose from Draupadi’s hands. Arjuna forgot himself in that mesmerizing fragrance. He saw heaven in her half-closed eyes. Draupadi felt it was Karna coming to her and she got ready for surrendering herself. She felt Karna was embracing her when Arjuna embraced her. She moved in the vast fulfillment of ecstasy. Like the rainbow drawn on the wall of the sky . Just like the waterfalls of nature falling from the heights. Like the unearthly glory of the sun. The waves which decorated the vast expansion of the ocean .
Draupadi rose to the summit of joy. The night with her real husband Arjuna had a special fragrance. A night she spent with her husband with all her heart!
A complete surrender!
(Cont’d)
